


Shadow of the Pines

by Fliggy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Existential Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, One Shot, Self-Indulgent, Self-Serious, just a whole lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 08:53:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14589447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fliggy/pseuds/Fliggy
Summary: After the Survey Corps finally reaches the ocean, Levi reflects.





	Shadow of the Pines

It’s gorgeous. He watches the waves break, one by one, as the others frolic by the seashore. Why are his thoughts drawn to Petra, after all this time? _We defeated the Titans,_ Levi thinks. _Their deaths weren’t in vain._

He knows that, as the years pass, once everyone he knows and cares about is gone, the ocean will still be here. For some reason, that thought comforts him. “Hey Hange,” he calls out. “It might all be poison, you shouldn’t be touching that.”

Evening comes, and he tries in vain to brush loose dirt and unruly twigs from the campsite. There’s a cold splinter in his heart. _Why now? Why does it only hurt after we’ve won?_

It didn’t hurt when he saw the body. Red smears across the tree like a child's finger painting. It didn’t hurt the day after. And not the day after that. Hange had asked him, once, whether he believed in an afterlife. (She had a sort of scientific curiosity about the whole concept. Erwin would never entertain such pointless discussions, so she’d come to him, instead.) “I don’t care,” he’d said, lying. “If I had to guess, I’d say death is nothing. No thoughts, no feelings. No silliness.”

“I figured you’d say that. Personally, I’m hazarding that we’re reborn as Titans,” Hange had said, light flickering off her glasses.

“Seems unlikely.”

“Sure, but a girl can dream, can’t she?”

 

* * *

 

“Petra, I want you to stay behind.”

“What do you mean?”

“This expedition will be more dangerous than previous ones. I can’t tell you more. We don’t know what we’re up against.” He hesitated. “I won’t be able to fulfill my duty properly, if I’m… worrying about you.”

“With all due respect. Captain.” Petra said. “That sounds more like your problem than mine.”

He closed his eyes, feeling the heat from her words. “Fine.” He said. “Come, then.”

“Do you think it’s easy for me?” she demanded. “You think I could just let you go out there, alone? Is it that I’m weak? Or are you just that selfish?”

“Forget it. Forget I said anything.”

She pushed past him, still furious. He hadn’t mean to imply that he didn’t trust her to stay alive. He hadn’t meant to imply their relationship was the weaker for it. “Petra,” he’d called out after her.

She hadn’t stopped.

 

* * *

 

It began snowing on the way back, the flakes downy, large and white. The sun still peeked over the horizon, and he said to Hange, “You take the brats ahead. I’m gonna take a detour.”

“Are you sure?” she shouted back, over the stomping of the horses. “It’s going to get cold soon. And there might still be Titans around.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. We’re almost there, anyway.”

He peeled away from the rest of the group, heading out in the direction of the trees he’d spotted in the distance. After a few minutes, the forest loomed larger. As he came close, he pulled to a stop. _I recognize these woods._

For some time, he sat there, watching the snowflakes fall between the trees. He couldn’t see farther than a few paces in, the woods grew too dark, and the sun had almost set. The wind brushed easily through his hair.

He dismounted. Hange and the rest of them had disappeared over a distant hill. He was alone. The shadow of the taller pines drew almost to where he stood, over the snowy grass.

There, within the treeline, four black silhouettes waited for him.

His horse gave a worried shake. “I know, I know,” Levi said, soothingly.

 _We still have enemies to fight._ He turned and got back on. With a flick of the reigns, he set off after the rangers, towards the wall. _My mission is not over. Not yet._


End file.
